Interview with the Vampire: The Vampire Chronicles (1994)

This is an interview where I wouldn’t accept the invitation. These Vamps are not the wussy sparkly kind that you see today. These will burn in sunlight and drain you like a juice box. Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt work excellently with each other. Kirsten Dunst steals the show as the bloodthirsty killer girl with killer curls. Christian Slater doesn’t have a huge role, but an important one. Plus I think he’s awesome. It was nice to see Thandie Newton in this, I’ve always liked her and although Banderas had a limited role in this movie, he did a great job. The movie flows really well and you start to really like the characters. Anne Rice is an excellent writer, so it was nice she did the screenplay for this movie. A classic 90’s Vampire film.

81/100

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Interview with the Vampire: The Vampire Chronicles (1994)

30 Days of Night (2007)

The strength of these vampires is so vast that they probably only needed 30 minutes of night to almost succeed. I thought the the vamps in this movie were pretty cool. Especially the one played by Danny Huston. Other notable people in this film were Ben Foster, Melissa George and Josh Hartnett. So yes, I liked the creatures, but did I like the movie? Ehhhh, it was good but not great. Some parts of the film drag on quite a bit. The bleak snowy atmosphere gets a little boring at times, but I did like the contrast of the blood on the snow. The part with the big snow machine was probably the best part of the movie. It’s an okay movie, but I don’t think it will become a cult classic. It left me a little cold.

71/100

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30 Days of Night (2007)

The Lost Boys (1987)

To quote someone online, in the 80’s the Vampires didn’t date you, they ate you. This movie is pretty darn good, but it suffers from a bloodless beginning. The movie only really v(amps) up until the last fifteen minutes or so. I think Kiefer Sutherland was an awesome vampire and I thought the make-up and special effects were really great. The person who stole the show was Corey Feldman. His gruff Batman voice and awesome vampire killing attitude really added some bright spots to the movie. The two main characters were pretty forgettable but Jami Gertz playing the part of Star was not. If this film would have been as good as it was in the last fifteen minutes, it probably would have earned a perfect score. Put a stake in me, I’m done.

77/100

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The Lost Boys (1987)

What We Do in the Shadows (2014)

Who would have thought vampires are hilarious? I really liked this mockumenentary about vampires who are struggling to figure out the modern world… but with the help of a newly turned vamp and his human best friend who is a computer programmer they are able to bring the internet to these diabolical dudes. This is a film from New Zealand and I must say, I love their sense of humor. I laughed out loud on several occasions. I love when the vampires run into werewolves and how they interact. Some great quotable lines to be had. Make like a bat and fly to this comedy, it staked me with laughter.

84/100

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What We Do in the Shadows (2014)

Only Lovers Left Alive (2013)

They are the only people left alive, because the audience died of boredom. This “vampire” movie was about as stinky as a Twilight film. Except Twilight at least entertains you with its bad acting. This film actually had five accomplished actors: Tilda Swinton, Tom Hiddleston, Mia Wasikowska, John Hurt and Anton Yelchin. It was hard to tell that they are good actors in this film though, because for the most part they sat on a couch or inside a car. Hardly anything happens in this film except for one comedic moment involving Yelchin and Wasikowska. I really don’t have anything positive to say about this film so I’ll just tell you to avoid it. It’ll just leave you feeling drained.

35/100

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Only Lovers Left Alive (2013)

From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)

Clooney needs to make films like this from dusk til dawn. This is probably his best movie. He makes a good criminal and his pompous attitude fits right in. I’d take one of these Clooney movies over 1000 Gravity-like movies with Clooney in it. Tarantino is still a bad actor (although a great director) but he does add some campiness to the film. Harvey Keitel is an awesome shotgun wielding Pastor. Salma Hayek and Danny Trejo make beautiful vampires. The script is perfectly written and the action scenes are really cool. This puts Twilight to shame. The last third of the movie gets insane and although I didn’t love the ending, it didn’t kill the movie. A great Robert Rodriguez/Tarantino project.

87/100

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From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)

Vampire Academy (2014)

The director of Mean Girls needs to go back to school. Would I be using too many puns to say that this movie sucks or bites? Well, it does a bit of both. The dialogue was bad enough to burst a sparkly vampire into flames. Zoey Deutch is smoldering until she speaks, but let’s be honest this movie is a terrible clone of Harry Potter and Twilight. It doesn’t do either movie well. It might be better if you read the books but half of the names and events flew over my head and then I started to not care anymore. An obvious sequel set-up is at the end, but let’s hope for us normal Muggles that that won’t come to pass.

20/100

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Vampire Academy (2014)