Victoria (2015)

Cute name for a cute girl. Sadly this film wasn’t cute at all. A girl from Spain meets up with a group of Berlin lifers. She gets mixed up in a plot to rob a bank and is on the run for most of the movie. Once again, I’d like to smack the maker of Birdman. This movie tries to be edgy like Birdman and has the over the shoulder shot, following Victoria around the whole movie. I hate this new trend. I like to see a lot of different shots, and this closely following stalker-shot for a whole movie gets really boring, really fast. I found the plot to this film to be highly unbelievable… either that or European women are just really susceptible to coercion of men they meet at a disco for the first time. The only saving grace is that the title character is a pretty good actress and she is cute as a bunny on top of a kitten.

55/100

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Victoria (2015)

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The Danish Girl (2015)

Well the name Lili is ruined for me. I must say I didn’t care for this movie. I’m a huge fan of Alicia Vikander and she was really, really good in this. Eddie Redmayne is also a good actor, but I just couldn’t get into his acting for this role. The whole movie just felt like Oscar-bait. In 2015 the transgender movement was swelling into a tsunami and lo and behold this film was made to sweep the Oscars. I don’t mind a movie on this subject, but this whole thing just felt like pandering at the highest level. I’m just glad I only had to see it once.

50/100

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The Danish Girl (2015)

The Age of Adaline (2015)

I could feel myself aging during this film. It just felt a little too long. I also think they put a few things in this to just make it sad for no reason. I do like Blake Lively and she is very pretty in this film, very classy. Harrison Ford was a huge surprise as I didn’t know he was in this when I started the movie. The subject matter of this film is very enthralling but it doesn’t go anywhere all that interesting. It’s all very sweet though, and despite the fact that I didn’t love it, I’ll say it is a fine movie, just nothing to write home about.

68/100

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The Age of Adaline (2015)

45 Years (2015)

I’d normally make the joke that this film felt like it took 45 years to go through, but I just won’t. The movie actually went by faster than I expected… but this movie wasn’t just dry, it was mummified. Dull, boring, tedious. I did get an excellent talking to about climate change though, so thank goodness for small favors. The movie just felt like a boring anti-smoking ad and teaches us that no matter how old and tired you get, you will still get jealous of your lovers ex’s. Some of the acting was pretty good, but for the most part everyone looked like they had sucked on a lemon too long. A total waste of time, probably why the Oscars loved it!

0/100

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45 Years (2015)

Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates (2016)

I wouldn’t have brought any of these people to my wedding. Don’t get me wrong, they seem like funny people… but disaster follows them everywhere. I think this film has a lot more funny parts then people give it credit for. Zac Efron steals the show for the most part. I’m a huge fan of Aubrey Plaza and I liked her in this but she didn’t knock it out of the park like she did in the To-Do List. Anna Kendrick is also lovely but she didn’t blow me away in this film, I will say she looks good wearing a horse for clothing though. Adam Devine is really annoying. I think it’s mostly his face and his voice that makes me not want to watch him do anything. Sugar Lyn Beard was really great in this, I didn’t know her from anything before but I really like her. The movie feels like a clone of Wedding Crashers, that isn’t as good, but I enjoyed the parts that were enjoyable. I’ve seen worse comedies, so watch this if you want a few laughs.

70/100

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Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates (2016)

Ted 2 (2015)

I’d rather listen to a TED talk on a subject I’m totally disinterested in. This overly long comedy had a couple good laughs and cameos but then it falls off the path and goes off the rails. Mainly this movie has an identity disorder. It’s a family drama about a bad marriage and trying to pay bills and have children. Then it becomes a courtroom drama about person-hood… yeah a civil rights case. Then a romance film… what it’s sadly missing is COMEDY. Also, what is Seth MacFarlane’s deal with having random fistfights in the background and breaking into show tunes? Just seems like a non-animated version of family guy. You’ll probably hear all the voices from the show if you shut you eyes. My final beef with this movie was the hatred toward Comic Convention goers. They kept getting bullied and pushed around by the characters. Seth MacFarlane would be the first person to decry being a bully, but apparently nerds at a Con are okay targets to him. This movie is trash, toss that teddy in the Goodwill pile.

10/100

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Ted 2 (2015)

Network (1976)

This movie didn’t make me mad as hell, I will take more of it! I really thought this movie was pretty cool. I love the behind the scenes looks at movies and television. Especially when it comes to the cut-throat world of ratings. This film had some wonderful acting, you could also tell that by the large amount of acting Oscars it received. Some of the monologues were fantastic and the writing was really smart, so smart that in the fugue of me being sick, a lot of the lines were admittedly going over my head. This also got a well deserved writing Oscar. If Rocky hadn’t been so amazing, this would have been a good Best Picture choice. Faye Dunaway, Robert Duvall and Peter Finch were incredible. There were a few parts where I felt a bit bored and reached for my phone, but otherwise this is a really entertaining movie and it felt really poignant to today’s media and general environment of the world. Glad I sat down for this interesting newscast of a flick.

88/100

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Network (1976)