The Room (2003)

Oh hai Readers! Wow, this movie is terrible. I can’t wait to see the Rifftrax for it making fun of this movie. I watched it the normal way and it was a terrible thing to go through. The only way to watch it is as a comedy. It seems like it should be a late-night Cinemax movie with its cheesy lines and bad romance. Tommy Wiseau is a genius as Pewdie Pie would say. He seems so bored but under that somber veneer he’s coming up with more great lines using every character’s first name within them. This movie is crazy and you’ll really hate Lisa, because she’ll tear you apart! Oh hai Mark!

50/100

ReelReelReel

For more information on this film,
visit the imdb.com page:
The Room (2003)

Advertisements

20th Century Women (2016)

I wish this was a film made before film was even invented. This movie was as fast moving as a stalled-out car. None of the characters had moved forward in their lives and the relationships were really awkward and dumb. I hated the Gerwig & Crudup relationship and don’t even get me started on the main boy’s relationship with Elle Fanning. Talk about being a giant cuckold. The movie isn’t incredibly long, but it felt like it took centuries to go through. I wouldn’t recommend this at all unless you seek frustration.

0/100

Half Reel

For more information on this film,
please visit the imdb.com page:
20th Century Women (2016)

Detachment (2011)

I kind of wish Adrien Brody would detach himself from Hollywood. I’ve never really liked him as an actor. The thing is, I think he whispers his lines too much and then calls that acting. This movie was depressing. First of all it was almost a giant ad for “WE HATE NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND” and this movie doesn’t let you forget that. Then Brody has unhealthy attachments to underage girls (living with a prostitute for most of the movie). It makes all racial groups into a harsh light, showing Asian girls as being slutty, black students as being almost viscous and white people as suicidal sociopaths. I think also this movie should be shown to teachers before they get their first job, so they can expect the worst and not be surprised. This movie was a real downer, and it doesn’t make you feel too good about humanity or the American education system.

62/100

ReelReelReelHalf Reel

For more information on this film,
visit the imdb.com page:
Detachment (2011)

The Brand New Testament (2015)

Sorry, I don’t think God or anyone would choose to make Brussels the first ever city. This movie starts off on the wrong foot at the very start of Genesis. I don’t really like how they depicted God in this film. A drunken, abusive and perverted pedophile of a father. It’s almost like this movie wanted to be shocking and disgusting right from the start. The movie gets a lot better when it focuses on God’s daughter Ea who is super cute and likable. Also the collection of the 6 Apostles (making it 18 for a Baseball Team) was interesting. The ending was pretty lame and I hate to say other than a few laughs and feel-good moments this movie will be forgotten like the dead-sea scrolls.

68/100

ReelReelReelHalf Reel

For more information on this film,
visit the imdb.com page:
The Brand New Testament (2015)

Senna (2010)

An artist of racing in the rain. I’m not much of a racing fan, in fact I used to make fun of it a lot. I’ll never be a Nascar fan but I do have a newfound appreciation for Formula One racers. Ayrton Senna was incredible on a track. This documentary about his racing career was full of victory and drama. Senna was handsome and really talented. He represented his country of Brazil really well. I loved the rivalry he had with that mean ol’ Frenchman Prost. An inspiring and sad story, God took Senna from us too soon, but at least he lived life in the fast lane.

88/100

ReelReelReelReelHalf Reel

For more information on this film,
visit the imdb.com page:
Senna (2010)

Interview with the Vampire: The Vampire Chronicles (1994)

This is an interview where I wouldn’t accept the invitation. These Vamps are not the wussy sparkly kind that you see today. These will burn in sunlight and drain you like a juice box. Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt work excellently with each other. Kirsten Dunst steals the show as the bloodthirsty killer girl with killer curls. Christian Slater doesn’t have a huge role, but an important one. Plus I think he’s awesome. It was nice to see Thandie Newton in this, I’ve always liked her and although Banderas had a limited role in this movie, he did a great job. The movie flows really well and you start to really like the characters. Anne Rice is an excellent writer, so it was nice she did the screenplay for this movie. A classic 90’s Vampire film.

81/100

ReelReelReelReelHalf Reel

For more information on this film,
visit the imdb.com page:
Interview with the Vampire: The Vampire Chronicles (1994)

Samurai Cop 2: Deadly Vengeance (2015)

As cool as a black cutoff t-shirt. Samurai Cop 2 was a Kickstarter dream to make a sequel to a horrible movie made in the 90’s. This movie takes the funny route for the most part. It really embraces the smarmy Joe Marshall and then brings back a lot of old and beloved faces from the original movie. Add a list of adult film stars and some purposeful bad writing and some troma-esque gore and you have this fun movie. I like this a lot better than the original because they just took the funny parts a lot further. I almost want to watch this again to see if I missed any jokes while I was laughing at others. Watch this if you love a really dumb action movie like Tropic Thunder (which I loved).

77/100

ReelReelReelReel

For more information on this film,
visit the imdb.com page:
Samurai Cop 2: Deadly Vengeance (2015)