The Brand New Testament (2015)

Sorry, I don’t think God or anyone would choose to make Brussels the first ever city. This movie starts off on the wrong foot at the very start of Genesis. I don’t really like how they depicted God in this film. A drunken, abusive and perverted pedophile of a father. It’s almost like this movie wanted to be shocking and disgusting right from the start. The movie gets a lot better when it focuses on God’s daughter Ea who is super cute and likable. Also the collection of the 6 Apostles (making it 18 for a Baseball Team) was interesting. The ending was pretty lame and I hate to say other than a few laughs and feel-good moments this movie will be forgotten like the dead-sea scrolls.

68/100

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The Brand New Testament (2015)

Life of Brian (1979)

He had arms, and legs, and feet and hands… his name was Brian! This movie by the Monty Python gang is really fun. It may not be the Holy Grail of their films, but it is really quite good. My favorite scene would have to be the grammar Roman who was correcting the graffiti. I also loved the time period that this movie was set in. It was fun to see a spoof on the Biblical times. Once again, John Cleese killed it. Graham Chapman was better in Holy Grail than this movie, but he still did a great job as Brian. The mother of Brian was also quite the show-stealer, played by Terry Jones. All I can say is that Brian is not the Messiah, he’s a very naughty boy… but you should still see what his life story is all about.

90/100

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Life of Brian (1979)

Exodus: Gods and Kings (2014)

I won’t lead a mass exodus of people toward this movie but it was pretty good. I expected this to be a lot worse after seeing Noah, but I was pleasantly surprised. The costumes and sets were amazing and some of the acting was quite good. I felt it was kind of strange to see Christian Bale as Moses and Joel Edgerton as Pharaoh Ramses. I was even more shocked to see Sigourney Weaver as an Egyptian (couldn’t see that coming in her career). Sadly, I’ve seen this story before, although it was well done, nothing in the plot surprised me because I already knew just about everything about it. It’s always nice to have a refresher on a great Biblical story but I’m not exactly sure why this film was made. I guess I have to give Ridley Scott some credit for not really being offensive like the movie Noah was handled.

70/100

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Exodus: Gods and Kings (2014)

The Book of Eli

I had no idea what this movie was about when I started watching it. I was pleasantly surprised at the story. An almost modern biblical tale of a man who has been asked by God to protect one of the last Holy Bible’s left in the world. Denzel Washington was awesome in this, he would smite his enemies with ease and never backed down. Gary Oldman was as excellent as ever playing the evil man out to use the Bible to control the masses of his run-down town. Mila Kunis also did a great job supporting the cast.

88/100

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The Book of Eli (2010)