Slow West (2015)

They were heading west… and it was slow. The really slow people involved in this film were the writers. What the heck was that ending? I’m now going to refer this movie as “Cuckold West”. Wow… that ending. Even though this movie is quite short compared to every movie out there, it felt long and had zero payoff. The acting was good, and there were some endearing moments but that ending will forever mar this film into suckiness. This is another one of those films where I will curse it on my deathbed. Why, why couldn’t I get that time back? I’ll always like Michael Fassbender though. He is just an excellent actor. I hope to never see this again, or even see it sitting on a store shelf. I’m done with it!

35/100

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Slow West (2015)

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Bone Tomahawk (2015)

Bone Tomahawk was a bulls-eye. This movie was exceptionally creepy and strange. It was good mix of horror and a wild west movie. Patrick Wilson plays a very determined husband who tries to save his kidnapped wife, played by the beauteous Lili Simmons, from a cannibalistic group of Native Americans. My biggest complaint is the movie is a tad long, and there is a bit too much traveling. The gore and shocks in the film make up for some of the slow parts. The cast is exceptional with Kurt Russell really standing out and a few other of the cast members were good too like the adorable assistant to the Deputy. This is a totally different kind of horror film, I hope to see more movies like this in the future.

86/100

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Bone Tomahawk (2015)

Blazing Saddles (1974)

I like Mel Brooks, comedies and Mel Brooks. Why did I say Mel Brooks twice? I just love Mel Brooks. This movie is always fun to watch. First of all, I don’t think this film could have been made today, it probably would have been boycotted due to all the non-political correctness. The movie really does do a good job making fun of everybody and has some really classic scenes. Cleavon Little was awesome as the Sheriff and I love how he teams up with Gene Wilder later on in the movie. Madeline Kahn’s rendition of “I’m Tired” will not only make you laugh but oddly get stuck in your head. The wild west is a really good setting for a comedy and I hope to see more western comedies in the future.

85/100

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Blazing Saddles (1974)

¡Three Amigos! (1986)

Sweet little buttercup this movie made me smile. It’s been a while, since I’ve seen this, it still remains cute to this day. I like the mix of slapstick comedy with a fun sort of western film theme. The costumes of the Amigos are especially great with their silver embroidery and large hats. The buttercup scene in the saloon is one of my favorites and I thought El Guapo was a fun bad guy. Martin, Chase and Short worked very well with each other and I just thought this was a nice mindless film to sit back and enjoy on an afternoon. I feel like other movies have been similar to this recently especially Tropic Thunder where a group of actors find themselves acting in a really dangerous situation. Watch this for a good time, ole!

80/100

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Three Amigos! (1986)

Wild Wild West (1999)

This movie had a wild imagination. I thought the gadgets (although gimmicky) were pretty interesting. Kevin Kline was the “Q” of the wild west. He also makes an incredibly ugly woman I might add (so does Will Smith). Not all the jokes knock your boots off but it does give you a good night of entertainment. Salma Hayek is a desert flower and Will Smith is admittedly a handsome cowboy. I liked the sci-fi elements mixed in with the wild west (eat your heart out Firefly) and Kenneth Branagh was a fun and ridiculous bad guy. This film didn’t win any writing awards but it did produce a good rap song that I know you have all danced to once or twice. Watch this if you enjoyed Will Smith in Men in Black, because this movie is basically the same just in a different time period.

78/100

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Wild Wild West (1999)

Back to the Future Part III (1990)

Get along little Delorean! This epic future-western is not a Joss Whedon production but another part of the Back to the Future trilogy. Doc. Brown and McFly are back one last time. This time they tackle the rough and tumble wild west in Hill Valley. This one is a lot more fun than Part II. I like the western setting and Clara, played by Mary Steenburgen is a welcome addition to the cast. This still isn’t better than the original movie, but I would definitely check it out… unless yer yella!

83/100

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Back to the Future Part III (1990)

Sweetwater (2013)

For such a sweet title the movie has a sour view toward poor Sarah in this bizarre Western tale. January Jones stars as a poor woman who has to scrape by on her dirt farm in the middle of nowhere. All the while an evil preacher is making her life a living hell. I couldn’t tell if this was supposed to be serious or comedic. At times I felt like I should laugh… I didn’t because I’m not a terrible person. The movie is just so murky that you can’t tell if it’s a drama, thriller, comedy or western. It’s just depressing. Ed Harris is pretty awesome.

62/100

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Sweetwater (2013)