The Room (2003)

Oh hai Readers! Wow, this movie is terrible. I can’t wait to see the Rifftrax for it making fun of this movie. I watched it the normal way and it was a terrible thing to go through. The only way to watch it is as a comedy. It seems like it should be a late-night Cinemax movie with its cheesy lines and bad romance. Tommy Wiseau is a genius as Pewdie Pie would say. He seems so bored but under that somber veneer he’s coming up with more great lines using every character’s first name within them. This movie is crazy and you’ll really hate Lisa, because she’ll tear you apart! Oh hai Mark!

50/100

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The Room (2003)

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Victoria (2015)

Cute name for a cute girl. Sadly this film wasn’t cute at all. A girl from Spain meets up with a group of Berlin lifers. She gets mixed up in a plot to rob a bank and is on the run for most of the movie. Once again, I’d like to smack the maker of Birdman. This movie tries to be edgy like Birdman and has the over the shoulder shot, following Victoria around the whole movie. I hate this new trend. I like to see a lot of different shots, and this closely following stalker-shot for a whole movie gets really boring, really fast. I found the plot to this film to be highly unbelievable… either that or European women are just really susceptible to coercion of men they meet at a disco for the first time. The only saving grace is that the title character is a pretty good actress and she is cute as a bunny on top of a kitten.

55/100

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Victoria (2015)

The Danish Girl (2015)

Well the name Lili is ruined for me. I must say I didn’t care for this movie. I’m a huge fan of Alicia Vikander and she was really, really good in this. Eddie Redmayne is also a good actor, but I just couldn’t get into his acting for this role. The whole movie just felt like Oscar-bait. In 2015 the transgender movement was swelling into a tsunami and lo and behold this film was made to sweep the Oscars. I don’t mind a movie on this subject, but this whole thing just felt like pandering at the highest level. I’m just glad I only had to see it once.

50/100

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The Danish Girl (2015)

Tangerine (2015)

Well, you can tell this was made on an iPhone, probably with sticky tangerine fingers. This movie was a hot mess. I didn’t find it that funny and the acting was absolutely bottom the the barrel. I hated all the characters and it really didn’t have an ending. It kept my attention for sure, maybe just because of how it was always following people around (thanks again stupid Birdman) but just because it’s interesting doesn’t mean it’s good. Train wrecks are interesting but no good comes of them. I’d stay away from this movie, if you want a good Christmas film check out Die Hard or Gremlins.

50/100

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Tangerine (2015)

Irrational Man (2015)

I feel a little irrational that I keep watching Woody Allen movies. I know that some people adore him, but I just don’t think he’s my style. I am starting to notice that maybe Emma Stone needs to watch her back with Woody. She seems to be in all his movies now, and he has her only in outfits where her beautiful legs are seen. So, I’m thinking he’s just being a perv with her, but I guess work is work right Emma? I found this story a little gag-inducing. I know that girls fall in love with their professors but Emma Stone with a fat Joaquin Phoenix? Nope. He’s also a hot mess and she’s very put together, and although women also like a project sometimes… uh, nope. I just didn’t buy the relationship and the whole story just felt really uncomfortable. I think the parts where Phoenix was alone were the best parts of the movie. The ending was also not very satisfying. A waste of time if I say so myself. I can rationally state that.

56/100

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Irrational Man (2015)

Southpaw (2015)

Once I realized that this movie was the same as all other boxing movies… it went south quickly. Jake Gyllenhaal had an excellent performance and Forest Whitaker was also quite excellent. Aside from the acting and maybe the crazy workouts Jake had to do to get ready for this role, this could have been just any other boxing movie. It doesn’t hold a candle to any of the Rocky films. The Boxer Hope wasn’t really a person to look up to… he drinks, does drugs and curses. He’s a good family man for the most part, but he’s kind of just a dumb boxing thug. Rachel McAdams isn’t in this long enough to comment on her acting, she did seem sweet though, which she normally doesn’t play parts like that. I’d hang up the gloves and not make any more boxing movies, I just don’t see another good one coming out that doesn’t just copy old ones before it.

53/100

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Southpaw (2015)

Joy (2015)

This movie didn’t bring me any… Yes, Lawrence did do a good performance and David O. Russell got his tag-along cast together to make another Oscar-esque film. I just didn’t fall in love with this movie. It just has a depressing tone from nearly the start to finish. I felt bad for Joy when things were tough, and I was starting to like her a lot when she was doing well. The bad part is, for most of the movie things are going horrible for her and her new invention the self-wringing mop. I liked seeing what QVC looks like behind the scenes and Bradley Cooper was great in his smaller part, but it just made me cringe what Joy had to go through just to push a stupid mop on to the market… but thank goodness for girl power right? I’m happy I saw it, but it really does have a deceptive title. It’s one of those one and done movies. I do think I might buy her mop the next time I need one though!

52/100

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Joy (2015)