Sex Tape (2014)

Is it still called a sex tape if it was filmed on an iPad? This comedy seemed to have a lot of potential but it wasn’t as good as I hoped it would be. I will say that Cameron Diaz hasn’t looked this good in a movie since “There’s Something About Mary” and Jason Segel has some funny parts but this isn’t his best movie by far. The premise is a little weak with a sex tape that is accidentally uploaded to the cloud and they have to retrieve all the iPads that they gave to people that are linked to that account. Who has that many iPads that you can give so many out? My favorite parts of the movie involved Rob Corddry and Ellie Kemper. They really stole the show, especially with their obsession with the video and how bad they are at lying. Rob Lowe also has a great cameo as the coked up toy maker. It really was almost a good movie, a few better jokes here and there and it could have been great. Instead it’s a watered down version of Road Trip. Please be kind and rewind and take this tape back to the video store after you enjoy the blooper reel of course!

69/100

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Sex Tape (2014)

Stalker (1979)

A movie about a peeping Tom would be a lot more exciting than this boring Russian science fiction film. If you can even spot the science fiction in this movie. The film consists of almost 3 hours of disjointed philosophy while traipsing through sewer tunnels and fields. I’ve honestly had more fun during a movies credits rolling at the end, than what I saw in this movie. I hate to say it and I don’t like to bash other critics often, but anyone who says this movie is amazing is just trying to look or sound smart. It’s all posturing to seem like you understand art better than others. I will admit there was some great shots by Tarkovsky and I loved the sound effects… but if you’ve read my reviews and sound effects are the biggest thing I talk about, you’ll know why I hated this movie. I had to watch this in two parts, which is lucky because it’s split up that way. When someone asked me what happened in the first part, I honestly said nothing and it was true. If you want to zone out in the “zone” of this film, then this movie will make you feel lobotomized.

25/100

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Stalker (1979)

Spy (2015)

I spy a movie that was almost pretty fly. This had all the right stuff, a great cast (except I’m not a huge fan of McCarthy) and some good action. It has a couple of good laughs but honestly I liked it for its spy-themed story. Plus I loved the other characters in the film like Jude Law, Jason Statham, Rose Byrne, Allison Janney, Bobby Cannavale and Morena Baccarin. I also thought the violence was really well done and pretty shocking for a comedy/action film. This is one of McCarthy’s better films, but by no means does this movie redeem her. Rose Byrne on the other hand keeps impressing me. Statham is a hoot in this too as he is a pretty bad spy. It’s not great but it’s not bad either. Take a peek at this movie’s dossier and you might just like it too.

79/100

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Spy (2015)

Dawn of the Dead (1978)

This film wasn’t so dead-set on scares, and it was campy at times… but I kinda liked it. This movie had some really good gore and pretty neat special effects for the time. It also was a pretty huge production as it required so many people to play the zombies. I thought all the main characters were good, I especially liked the guy who couldn’t shoot worth a darn. He should have had his gun taken away at the start. The final scene with the really weird music was enjoyable and a little strange. It’s hard to say how seriously they were taking this movie, regardless, I think it’s an important horror film.

82/100

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Dawn of the Dead (1978)

Unbroken (2014)

There was nothing broken about this movie, other than the fact that this was a terrible movie to witness. That doesn’t mean it’s a bad movie, it’s just hard to see one person suffer, and then think he’s in the clear… just to suffer some more. If it wasn’t for the nice ending to this movie, I would have hated it. You have to have some good with the bad in these kind of stories or you’ll fatigue the audience. There’s only so much suffering one can take in a single sitting. I applaud Louis Zamperini for his die hard spirit and he was a fantastic American. I’m very sad for what happened to him and I’m glad his story was told… but this was not good entertainment.

77/100

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Unbroken (2014)

Aloha (2015)

Aloha and Goodbye. I didn’t hate this movie, I thought it was pretty cute. It has an awesome cast and some of them were utilized really well and others (Krasinski) wasn’t used much at all. I must say the scene of non-verbal communication between Cooper and Krasinski will be one of my favorite scenes from this year. Otherwise, this movie will probably be forgotten. It has a pretty watered-down love story and some weird space based stuff in it that will confuse you. It has Bill Murray playing himself, being a total weirdo. The scenery is nice and it makes me want to check the islands out. I guess I just expect a little more out of Cameron Crowe. Oh well, at least some people got lei’d.

65/100

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Aloha (2015)

Home (2015)

This film isn’t as comforting as home, but it was pretty sweet. I thought that Rihanna and Jim Parsons both voiced the movie well. The characters names were really funny too. Everything was bright shiny and perfect for little kids. The problem was, this movie really was just geared for kids. As some animated features will be great until the day you die, I don’t see this movie being one of them. It will be wildly entertaining for you as a youngster but for a sometimes-grumpy critic like me, one viewing is enough. One thing that must be said is that this movie has a really great soundtrack… oh and I always knew Jim Parsons was an alien.

75/100

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Home (2015)