What We Do in the Shadows (2014)

Who would have thought vampires are hilarious? I really liked this mockumenentary about vampires who are struggling to figure out the modern world… but with the help of a newly turned vamp and his human best friend who is a computer programmer they are able to bring the internet to these diabolical dudes. This is a film from New Zealand and I must say, I love their sense of humor. I laughed out loud on several occasions. I love when the vampires run into werewolves and how they interact. Some great quotable lines to be had. Make like a bat and fly to this comedy, it staked me with laughter.

84/100

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What We Do in the Shadows (2014)

Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation (2015)

This review will self destruct in five seconds. I really like these movies. There are a lot twists and turns in the spy game and Tom Cruise is starting to look a little old to be an action hero. I liked Alec Baldwin in this, he does a good job at playing either a politician or government worker. Jeremy Renner was really cool and funny at times while Rebecca Ferguson could out-sexy any Bond girl. Simon Pegg was a hoot and also got to do some great stuff in the field. The action was intense and I had a lot to laugh at and a lot to wince at while things were exploding and people were dying. I think the last film was a little better but the series is staying a lot stronger than I would have predicted. Don’t go rogue, join us and watch this movie.

88/100

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Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation (2015)

The Abyss (1989)

I’m glad the abyss didn’t stare back as I was staring at it. This movie is worth staring at as it has some really good special effects for the late 80’s. I really like this film especially with Ed Harris and Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio leading the cast. The underwater scenes are so surreal and as people start acting crazier the movie’s tension factor rises faster than the sea at high tide. I do think the ending was a little weird and underwhelming, Cameron goes for a very anti-war/nukes message that seems forced into an interesting sci-fi story line about the mysteries of our oceans. Get comfortable if you are watching this as it has almost a three hour run-time. It won’t seem that long as you’ll be swept away by the fast moving current of its story.

82/100

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The Abyss (1989)

Big Trouble in Little China (1986)

I don’t know exactly what the big deal is, this is a much talked about and loved movie but now that I’ve finally watched it… I wasn’t blown away. It was a good movie, just not an instant classic. I do like the mix of supernatural and 80’s action. Kurt Russell is pretty funny in this as is Kim Cattrall. Mainly I liked the make-up, special effects and costuming. Everyone looked really weird and there were some strange effects like a floating eyeball monster and some epic almost anime-like sword fights in mid-air. John Carpenter went pretty weird on this film, I can see why some people love it, maybe I would have liked it better if I would have saw it when I was younger.

75/100

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Big Trouble in Little China (1986)

Literary Ryan – Red Unearthing

A new Literary Lion story that has to be 400 words, this one is based off the word “Flower”.


The sun high in the sky finally hits the right spot in the rocky red grove.

The sun’s strong light warmed the iridescent petals of the rare flower creating a burst of color that would shame any diamond or opal. As the warmth of the sun’s rays slides over the stem and leaves like a warm blanket, slivers of ice break off like shards of glass. This ice lies on the red dirt like the scene from a break-in.

Tucked in its own hidden area, the flower has remained hidden, enjoying its solitude. A different kind of heat that wasn’t from the sun warmed the area and shook the ground. It’s normally so quiet, nothing to bother the peace of the crimson landscape. What was it? Oh no bother, the sun’s out and the ice is off; it’s time to gather up more of the sun’s nourishing light.

Days passed feeling like leftover food being thawed, being frozen¸ and thawed again. Over and over, but this is all the flower knows. The one strange thing was that different heat that was not from the sun.

Warmth again, the petals open up almost casting a bright glow on the ground. This day wasn’t going to be like the others. Something new and unexpected was in the air.

A crunch echoed across the frozen landscape, a whirring of small segmented treads. Then it appeared. A small white vehicle with NASA painted on the side approached the hidden grove that had guarded the flower for so many years.

A mechanical arm popped out of the top of the machine and moved toward the flower menacingly. Its three spindly, lifeless fingers grasped the flower by the stem and pulled hard.

The flower wasn’t worried though.

Due to its rough living conditions, its roots had grown deep and strong and the mechanical fingers weren’t strong enough to uproot this beautiful specimen.

The flower was not worried.

It had been in this strange and beautiful place for longer than it could remember. It just wondered if there were others like it out there.

But the flower wasn’t worried. Just happy it hadn’t been captured by the strange machine.

Before parting ways, the strange machine flashed a bright light for just a second and then turned around and headed away from that sheltered grove the flower called home. All that remained were lines in the red sand.

©Reel Ryan

Literary Lion

Filth (2014)

I feel pretty dirty after watching this but it was so much fun watching James McAvoy destroy everyone in his path on his way to a promotion to head Detective. The movie takes some really strange turns and I must heavily warn anyone who watches it that it has some really strong themes and is very rated R. I have heard some people complained about this movie because it was promoted as a “funny cop movie”. Yes, there are some funny parts but the last quarter of the film gets very dark. I laughed so hard at some parts though, my stomach hurts from all the laughing. The cast is all excellent and there was some interesting make-up work when McAvoy has his animal hallucinations. A lot of great actors from the U.K. make up this film, they all have great chemistry. There is a roller coaster of emotions, you’ll be laughing at him prank calling his friends wife and you’ll want to cry when you hear about his condition and his past. An excellent movie if you aren’t easily offended by McAvoy’s filthy lifestyle and unconventional police work.

95/100

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Filth (2014)

The Untouchables (1987)

It was a touching movie for being called the Untouchables. I loved Sean Connery, he had the best lines in this film. Kevin Costner is great as a federal agent. Andy Garcia was a slick gunman/officer. De Niro was great as Capone, I wish he would have had a bigger part. The writing and directing was brilliant and I really liked the film’s soundtrack too. The sets and costumes took you back to the time of prohibition. It’s really cool, it’s bloody and violent. It’s a great and iconic movie, just be sure to grab that baby in its stroller before it hits the bottom of the stairs. Oh man what a great scene!

90/100

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The Untouchables (1987)